Homesick for Heaven Yet Loving Where We’re Going

The array of emotions I have felt lately have been overwhelming for this already burdened heart…

… The questions I’ve asked God, the questions I’ve asked myself, the questions I’ve asked Michael…

For a couple that is very family oriented, this is hard.

I very distinctly remember sitting in a communications class in college and, for the first time, truly realizing what cognitive dissonance is and how it relates to my life, but really, this still couldn’t have prepared me for the immense amount of cognitive dissonance I’ve experienced in the past few months and, even more so, in the past few days.

As I was driving down the road today as my two sick and very tired boys fell asleep, I let my mind go there.

Honestly, I’ve been holding it back for quite some time.

I let my mind go to the fact that we have permanently given our lives to the cause of Christ. This means so many things for so many people. I’ve questioned why, for us, that means going over 2,000 miles away from our closest family and very much loved friends. Why this means that we’re called to Bozeman, Montana permanently, unless God calls us elsewhere. We’re not committing for 2 years or 5, but for life, unless God has other plans. Wrapping my mind around the thought that my sweet babies won’t grow up with grandparents close by has been a hard one, but then the cognitive dissonance sets in…

… And God ever so gently reminds me that He hasn’t even called us to the ends of the earth or to sacrifice our very breath for Him at this time. We even get to stay in America and still have access to family via airplane, internet, Skype, and even simple phone calls.

So yes, while our children may miss the opportunity to go on extended family vacations, go camping with grandparents, spend time with cousins on a regular basis, or grow up in the South 😉

… In the grand scheme of things, our sacrifice is incredibly small compared to the martyrs who have given up their very lives as well as the missionaries who have committed their lives to some very difficult people groups in nations where they are very much hated.

The Lord has even blessed Michael and I so much with some very special little people that we get to take on this new adventure with us. How lonely it would be to be alone on this journey for the Lord.

But through all of this, the cognitive dissonance rings out even more..

I’m excited, we’re excited, we can’t wait! We have so many hopes and dreams for our ministry in Montana, for the people there, and we already love the place, and more importantly, the people the Lord has for us to serve there.

Please be praying with us…

… For our emotions..

… For my worries (Admittedly, I am a struggling worry wart in the area of finances and the Lord has convicted me on this many times)…

And most importantly… For our ministry.

And I pray that I can encourage you in some way to follow the Lord in what He wants for your life whatever that may be…

The sacrifice, however big or small, is so worth it!

This life is not about us and how we can be served and how we want to live…

It is about winning people to the Lord…

So that, even though I may leave some of what society tells me should be a good life behind and my babies may not have the extended family around I wish they could, it’s not about me, and heaven will be so much sweeter because the Lord has chosen this insignificant family to sacrifice very little for the cause of Christ. Oh heaven will be a beautiful place where we can rest and love on all who love Him.



A Few Steps Toward our Giant Leap!

Yikes! It has been quite awhile since I have blogged and my intention was to keep up with it, but, alas, I have failed you. Not that I want to come up with a list of excuses as to why I’ve been absent, but here are a few of the crazy things that have been going on the past month and a half:

To go along with my hubby’s description of this summer, I’d like to add a few of my own.

We have traveled to Georgia twice, several different places within Tennessee, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia a few times in an effort to both build partnerships and see family for the last time before we take this giant leap in moving to Montana.

We found out we are having our third little boy and we are so thrilled to welcome him into our home in January! Despite the comments from well meaning people saying “I’m sorry!”, we are actually very happy for Cale and Gabe to have a little brother 🙂

I have been seeing a home birth midwife here in Tennessee and have interviewed and chosen one in Montana too. I’m excited for this experience and will keep you updated as we get closer to it.

One week ago, we had to move out of our missionary housing while other people used it and then we traveled to Hendersonville, TN and got to see some great friends from college and meet with a church there. We are moving back in today.

Right now, I am preparing for my paper grading week for work in which I have 72 students who will turn in papers by tonight’s deadline… It will be a long week! After that, we’ll have a few more days here in our missionary house and then we’ll head to Liberty University’s Homecoming for one last time before we head west! We’re excited to see old friends and my family as well as join in on the school’s festivities!

We’ll get back from Virginia after Homecoming and Michael will load up the moving truck the next day and he and his dad will make the cross country trip to Bozeman, Montana on October 21st. The boys and I will follow by plane on Sunday, October 27th.

I really can’t believe this is happening…

… It seems like just yesterday, we were making plans to move to Tennessee in order to be able to devote our time to building partnerships without worrying about Michael’s multiple jobs in Raleigh and now, here we are, almost 4 months later, preparing to make the giant leap to Montana…

No, we’re not fully funded yet and we’ll still need to build more partnerships once we’re there, but we’ve realized that it’s time…

.. It’s time to be back in ministry, to begin this new journey in our lives, to begin to get to know people there..

God has asked us to go so here we go….

Have a great Monday!