Homesick for Heaven Yet Loving Where We’re Going

The array of emotions I have felt lately have been overwhelming for this already burdened heart…

… The questions I’ve asked God, the questions I’ve asked myself, the questions I’ve asked Michael…

For a couple that is very family oriented, this is hard.

I very distinctly remember sitting in a communications class in college and, for the first time, truly realizing what cognitive dissonance is and how it relates to my life, but really, this still couldn’t have prepared me for the immense amount of cognitive dissonance I’ve experienced in the past few months and, even more so, in the past few days.

As I was driving down the road today as my two sick and very tired boys fell asleep, I let my mind go there.

Honestly, I’ve been holding it back for quite some time.

I let my mind go to the fact that we have permanently given our lives to the cause of Christ. This means so many things for so many people. I’ve questioned why, for us, that means going over 2,000 miles away from our closest family and very much loved friends. Why this means that we’re called to Bozeman, Montana permanently, unless God calls us elsewhere. We’re not committing for 2 years or 5, but for life, unless God has other plans. Wrapping my mind around the thought that my sweet babies won’t grow up with grandparents close by has been a hard one, but then the cognitive dissonance sets in…

… And God ever so gently reminds me that He hasn’t even called us to the ends of the earth or to sacrifice our very breath for Him at this time. We even get to stay in America and still have access to family via airplane, internet, Skype, and even simple phone calls.

So yes, while our children may miss the opportunity to go on extended family vacations, go camping with grandparents, spend time with cousins on a regular basis, or grow up in the South 😉

… In the grand scheme of things, our sacrifice is incredibly small compared to the martyrs who have given up their very lives as well as the missionaries who have committed their lives to some very difficult people groups in nations where they are very much hated.

The Lord has even blessed Michael and I so much with some very special little people that we get to take on this new adventure with us. How lonely it would be to be alone on this journey for the Lord.

But through all of this, the cognitive dissonance rings out even more..

I’m excited, we’re excited, we can’t wait! We have so many hopes and dreams for our ministry in Montana, for the people there, and we already love the place, and more importantly, the people the Lord has for us to serve there.

Please be praying with us…

… For our emotions..

… For my worries (Admittedly, I am a struggling worry wart in the area of finances and the Lord has convicted me on this many times)…

And most importantly… For our ministry.

And I pray that I can encourage you in some way to follow the Lord in what He wants for your life whatever that may be…

The sacrifice, however big or small, is so worth it!

This life is not about us and how we can be served and how we want to live…

It is about winning people to the Lord…

So that, even though I may leave some of what society tells me should be a good life behind and my babies may not have the extended family around I wish they could, it’s not about me, and heaven will be so much sweeter because the Lord has chosen this insignificant family to sacrifice very little for the cause of Christ. Oh heaven will be a beautiful place where we can rest and love on all who love Him.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s